you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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