my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
