when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
