one might say we're banned from that church
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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