Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
