I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
