Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
