I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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