he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
