I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
