Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
