I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
