tell your sister to shave her snatch
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
