So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you inspire me to be a worse person
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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