It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
