i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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