I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
