garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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