Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
