Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize