I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
