They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I came so hard my ears popped.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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