my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
