Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
