i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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