I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
