these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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