you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
