you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
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