Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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