So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize