his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
