The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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