Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So vagazzling was a success
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
