It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
