1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
