You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I got inside last night via doggy door
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
