You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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