Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
