11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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