Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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