TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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