ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
tell me about the eggs
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
