Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
