Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
