There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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