She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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