I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
