I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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