i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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