How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
