I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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