my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
