everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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