North Korea, Best Korea!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize