cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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