how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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