The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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