NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
