He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
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I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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