he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
