Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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