SEEEEXXX PLEASE
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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